Departing and Redirecting

 

Why I Decided to Quit Photography: A Journey of Challenges, Changes, and Redirection

 I have been in photography for 20 years- from film to digital. During my early days, I did not focus on what you call details. I just pressed the shutter button, then – boom, I have the image, but those days were a normal day for me, nothing much of the composition, technicalities, and the whole nine yards. Everything changed when I found a mentor to guide me in the right direction, but inside my head, it is nothing but a hobby as a whole. I remember one time, my mentor told me to print the taken pictures and sell for profits, and I did not follow his advice and continuously took pictures whenever there was a chance, and if an invitation or opportunity came along the way. It has been six years since I fell in love with film.  I took a rest for one year and transitioned to digital; it is in the digital era of cameras that all the changes and challenges I faced occurred. This is the era during which I stayed for fourteen years before quitting.

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What happened? What is the root cause of my decision to quit?

As a hobbyist, my main goal is to learn photography, capture moments, tell stories, and have fun. As my journey begins, I never expected that I would write my own story and share a lesson learned. Here are the reasons why I decided to quit photography and leave everything behind.

Blind follower – As my journey to photography, I met a lot of people from all walks of life, different faces, different cultures and beliefs, and I was overwhelmed by everything from meet-ups to gear discussion and photography style. Imagination fuels my desire to craft my name in the industry, and as I was deeply involved and heavily invested, I took the path blindly, thinking and making me believe that everything is alright, and I continuously and painstakingly captured the moment of uncertainties. I became a blind follower due to my belief that joining a certain group, and or more groups, will lead me to my prosperity.

Right connection, no direction: Yes, it was me. It was the feeling I have as of this writing. Designers, models, talent coordinators, producers, and friends alike, I have met them, but somewhere along the horizon of my journey, a question arises as to where I am heading, the path I am walking is unpassable, where red flags are ignored, and I did not pay attention as I cross the path.

Fake people, entitled, fakery as manufactured:  the world is full of fake people, low emotional intelligence, and no basic human connection. Narcissism is prevalent like a virus spreading across the industry. Money matters, Oh Yes, it is the love of money - the root of all evil.

Moral Support that leads to exhaustion:  Where do I draw the line from here? I am lost and confused as to what is happening; my soul may be shattered like a cracked glass as I press the shutter button of my camera.  Inside my head is nothing but an air that makes me light and dumbfounded.

People's True color does not meet their true character: The more I take pictures, the faker they are. Beautiful smiles, fake gestures, vague actions.

Morally right, questionable integrity: This is the turning point of my life. As I ponder what is happening, I reflect on my life as a hobbyist photographer and what I have done. I have seen my fellow photographers doing the same pattern, same approach, yet some of them have lost contact with what is morally right and what integrity is all about.

As of this writing, there are deeper reasons why I decided to quit and decided not to reveal, thus avoiding conflicts not only in the community of photography, people I have met, friends, real friends, and those fair-weather friends. Rest and reassess my life as I think of quitting. Where do I go from here, and what is my plan after my decision? Is it an abrupt decision? No, it is a careful decision I have thought about prior to quitting. I thank GOD for the talent He bestowed upon me.

To everyone I have met, friends and alike. THANK YOU. This is a beautiful goodbye.

To the second family I LOVE AND VALUE everyone, we will see each other again. I love YOU!!!

To our Dear LORD, I hope I did not disappoint you.

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